I have been thinking hard about changes, and I was also talking to my wife about “CHANGE” – Change in lifestyle, in thoughts, in actions. But why change? – I believe if I want to better my life I need to keep changing continuously. If I think that I don’t need change anymore than probably I am resisting change, or I am living the life of a vegetable – not contemplating, not realizing what are the things that can be improved. This, I believe, is true for everyone. Unfortunately life is not like an Engineer’s slogan – If it ain’t broken don’t fix it. Life should be a continuous spiral of realizations and improvements and changes. Don’t get me wrong – It should be about retaining things that work as well. But I refuse to accept that there is any individual’s life which is perfect and requires no further changes.
Here is a simple exercise if you think you don’t need to change - Ask your friends, family, colleagues, manager as to what is the change that they would like to see in you. I am sure they will not be short of ideas. Everyone has an understanding of how everyone else should change and they want everyone else around to change. But many people are unwilling to accept they need to change or are unwilling to change themselves. I am no stranger to this as well. Naren said in an email to me, that you can spend pages and hours together discussing and analysing why people are resistant to changes. But if we realize why people do change, then maybe we can adopt that reasoning to change. So instead of trying to analyse why people are resistant to change, let us understand why some people embrace change and use that to change.
The only reason people embrace change is for things they care the most about. This could be because of a necessity, or could be because they really feel deeply and passionately about something. I am resistant to changes for things that I could care less about. For example if I don’t care about protecting the environment, then I am unwilling to change my habits of polluting, of leaving a larger carbon foot print. I will care more about my comfort and luxury. I am unwilling to change my habit of driving to work, and will not ride a bus since it is a bit of inconvenience to ride the bus than to drive. But if I really want to make a difference in my contribution to the environment, I will take the effort to ride the bus. Same thing goes with personal life as well. If I really care about a relationship, I will keep making changes in my thoughts & actions to improve that relationship. I am willing to re adjust my priorities, to readjust my schedule just to better that relationship. That is because I care about that relationship.
So if I want a change in some aspect of life, the first thing I need to ask myself is that do I really feel deeply about that aspect of life? If I really feel passionately about that aspect of life then change would be towards fulfillment, and it won’t be a pain anymore. To make a change fulfilling, the first step would be to start caring about and feeling passionately about that aspect of life. Oh, and yeah change is easier if introduced in smaller steps, instead of trying to bring a drastic change. If approached in the right way, then change is energizing.
